Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Principle and working of a MOSEFT

The MOSEFT is an extension of the EFT family, where EFT stands for Engineering Friendly Transistor. To understand the principle behind its working it is necessary to start from the basics.
The first MOSEFT was synthesized in January 2008, by a group of college dropouts. The aim was to reduce the complexity involved in studying the working of transistors to make lives of electronics engineers much easier. It was understood that the concept of electrons and holes was the root for the problem; hence it had to be eliminated from the transistor operation. This lead to the discovery of ‘magic particles’. These particles are the basic components of MOSEFTs. ‘Magic particles’ (MPs) in short have very attractive properties that make them ideal for transistor operations

Advantages of MPs over holes and electrons
  1. There are only one type of MP particles, hence it is impossible to mix them up during exams
  2. They have automatic charge formulation property. This means that they decide their own charge depending on the situation, independent of what is assigned to them in the equation. Meaning, that negative sign in the equation can be left just as it is, the magic particle will make it positive; and the solution correct.
  3. The M factor: This is a factor that arises from the derivation of MPs on the Magic Particle Theory, which is beyond the scope of most texts that make sense. However the M factor can be understood without doing an in depth analysis. It basically has the property that it abstracts all the interactions between MPs. This is very helpful in understanding MOSEFTs. Due to the M factor all the inner working of the transistor is automatically abstracted.
Principle of MOSEFTs

MOSEFT Structure

The MOSEFT structure is a very simple one. There is no mucking about with emitters and collectors and drains, etc. There is only one central element in the MOSEFT, it is called ‘The Box’. It is named so due to its appearance. The Box has certain properties that makes it an ideal candidate for the MOSEFT structure.
  1. There is only one ‘Box’, there is no box1, box2 and so on. Even if there is more than one MOSEFT in succession, all one has to do is to put them all in one ‘box’. This will be proved shortly.
  2. There are no constraints on the shape of the box, though it is generally assumed by engineers throughout the world, that it is rectangular in shape but this is not necessary. In fact boxes which are not perfectly rectangular are seen to be more effective. Thus it better if these boxes are drawn on the exam paper without a scale, as that gives a more accurate description
MOSEFT Operation

The MOSEFT transistor performs the basic transistor task of controlling a voltage or current with an input voltage or current. This is done with the help of the MPs. Consider a ‘Box’, this box encapsulates the whole transistor. Now if an input current is given to the transistor, an output current or voltage can be obtained. For understanding how this output is controlled it necessary to understand the IC theorem

IC THEOREM

The IC theorem states that, when there is a variable to be controlled and output required, it can be assumed that a controller is present. This controller can then perform the controlling operation. The proof of this theorem is loosely based on one of Schrodinger’s theorems (to find out which one, refer SCH [33]). By going up one level of abstraction one doesn’t really need to see the variable being controlled. Instead one can assume that there is a controller doing the controlling. This is valid as according to Schrodinger’s hypothesis there is a probability that there is a controller present. Since there is no way ascertaining that a controller isn’t there due to the abstraction we might as well assume that there is one present. Thus it is called the Imaginary Controller (IC) theorem. This theorem blends in beautifully with magical particles as we shall see.
Thus according to the IC theorem there is a controller inside the box controlling the input and hence the transistor operation is performed. The conversion from voltage to current or vice versa is performed by the MPs. As the inner working of the Magic Particles is abstracted by the M factor, the need to understand the operation is eliminated.

Cascading of multiple transistors

As with other transistors multiple MOSEFTs can be cascaded. The individual Boxes can be combined into one single ‘Box’. The proof for this is straight forward. The crux is to understand that, none of the workings within the ‘Box’ is understood. Hence if one has n boxes, then one does not understand the working of any of them. Therefore these can be clubbed together in one big ‘Box’ whose working will not be understood by anyone either.

Current Voltage Characteristics of the MOSEFT

The current voltage characteristics of a MOSEFT unlike other transistors do not have a graphical description. This saves a lot of time for engineers who need to have complete and thorough understanding of the MOSEFT but are facing time bound constraints (for example one day before the exam). The characteristics of the MOSEFT are best explained by an example.
Consider a MOSEFT, when you give an input current to it, you automatically obtain a suitable output at the other end of, ‘The Box’. This is due to the automatic satisfaction property of the EFT that arises due to the magical particles. A detailed explanation of this is given in the following section.

The Magical Effect

When you give a current of 5mA into the transistor and you already know that at the other end the voltage must come out to be around 7V (which is gathered by referring to the answer at the back of the textbook) the MPs are accordingly adjusted to generate the voltage. This occurs due to a property of the MPs called the ‘Look Ahead Property’. This property actually enables the MPs to look ahead in time to see what output is needed. So while solving the problem though the person hasn’t reached the end of the solution yet, the MPs by virtue of this property are able to know what output (or answer) is required and hence generate it. Thus the solution is arrived at.
This procedure is a watertight one. Meaning, it cannot go wrong and gives hundred percent accuracy. This is one of the biggest reasons for the popularity of MOSEFTs. This effect is called the Magical Effect. When asked how the current or voltage output is determined in a MOSEFT, it can be said that, “It occurs magically” or, “Its magic”. Before the discovery of the ‘Magical Effect’, another theory was used to explain input/output determination, called the ‘Tunnel Through’ theorem. This is theorem was however discarded as it suffered from a few obvious deficiencies.

Tunnel Through Theorem

To explain how the MPs always arrived at the right answer to a given problem, the Tunnel Through Theorem was suggested. According to this theorem, just like holes and electrons in normal transistors can tunnel through energy barriers, the MPs can tunnel through barriers too. Due to this property it was suggested that the MPs tunneled through the pages of the text book, and reached the solution page, thus recognizing the answer before the problem was solved by the user. Hence the MPs were able to generate the solution for the user. This theorem was however unable to explain the following points
  1. How were solutions arrived at when the answer page was in a different text book?
  2. What about the problems whose solution are not available?
However, for the first case, it was suggested that MPs could tunnel all the way through to the other book and find the solutions. And for the second case, since engineers never deal with problems whose solutions are not known, it is safe to assume that the second case never arises.
Thus with the help of the Tunnel Through Theorem and The Magical Effect the automatic satisfaction property of the MOSEFT is explained. Meaning, the MOSEFT outputs automatically adjust themselves to the users need.

Conclusion

This far it has been shown that MOSEFTs are the most engineering friendly transistors available. There are no complicated wires or circuit diagrams to be drawn. No graphs are required. The various parameters of the MOSEFT (MPs , Box etc) carry huge advantages over normal transistors. The only downside of using the MOSEFT is that it has only been realized on theory, but however it is still a great help to engineers and is an essential tool in making their life easier.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

The Legend of the Ninjaneers Chapter -1

Chapter 1 – The Evil Trainers from Chu Lei (Part-1)
A long time ago, about a million years to be precise, there was an ancient civilization. The people of this civilization were a very skilled in diverse arts and professions. However each and every one of them had been part of an elite group, an academy of sorts. This group was referred to as the Ninjaneers, the protectors of ancient civilizations. This is the long forgotten tale of these brave warriors.

Jin Wei lifted his head up. “There’s something off,” he thought. “Hey Huang”, he called out to his friend. Huang lifted his head up,

“What is it?”

“Can you smell that?” asked Jin Wei, “It seems to me that a storm is brewing.”

“It’s the monsoon, what do you expect?”

“I don’t mean a storm literally. I mean there’s something’s wrong with the world,” said Jin Wei.

“Of course, there’s something wrong. Here we are; a couple of soon to become Ninjaneers sitting by the lake in the middle of the day when we should be off training,” replied Huang.

“So what do you suggest Huang? That we go to class? That’s probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Anyway that’s not what I meant when I said something’s wrong. I think something bad is going to happen, my Ninjaneering instincts are sure of it.”

“Ninjaneering instincts?” replied Huang. “When did you develop those? While sleeping by the lake all day?”

“You can make fun of me all you want. But I’m going to make a fine Ninjaneer, and I’ll be well versed in all the martial art forms, and I’ll become a strong dauntless warrior.”

“Dauntless warrior? You’re just full of jokes today.” Said Huang chuckling. “How many warriors do you know. I mean pretty much everybody did Ninjaneering so how many of them became fully fledged warriors?”

“You’re right?” said Jin Wei standing up. “I’m not going to become a fearless of warrior I’m going to be the first fearless warrior of all time!!”

“Yeah, and one day us Ninjaneers will have girlfriends!!” replied Huang.

“Yeah, it does sound ridiculous doesn’t it? I just thought it’d be possible if I really concentrated and trained hard, and attended all the training sessions too. ”

“Don’t get disheartened now,” said Huang standing up and walking to Jin Wei. You’re going to make a terrible Ninjaneer, we all are. How can we become good Ninjaneers if our trainers themselves get beaten up by little girls. Come on let’s go back to the quarters. The new script for ‘Gossip Maidens’ is out, I want to read it before someone ruins it by telling me what happens.”

*************

“What’s this entire furor about?” said Huang walking towards the notice board (yes they did have boards then!!) where a bunch of Ninjaneers were huddled. “Look, didn’t I tell you something bad was going to happen?” cried Jin Wei pointing at a notice. It was a call to all Ninjaneers who were planning on leaving Ninjaneering after their training was over. The people who had put up the notice said they represented the trainers of Chu Lei. They offered to train those who were planning on attempting the Sacred Challenge of Answering Timepass questions. Also known as SCAT (they didn’t bother putting in the Q, it didn’t sound catchy that way).

Chu Lei was a reputed organization and it was well known all over the world for its timepass training. But among the Ninjaneers it also had a bad name. It was said that the trainers of Chu Lei were an evil folk. That anyone who’d venture into the grounds of Chu Lei would never come out the same. Of course it wasn’t as horrible as the myth about the B-Dojos, that story however is for another day.

“So, what do you have to say to that?” said Jin Wei indignantly.

“There may be something in what you say,” replied Huang. “It seems that their representative is going to give some sort of demonstration today. Lets attend it and see for ourselves whether the rumors surrounding the Chu Lei are true.”

*************

“I am sensei Chu,” said the bearded man staring at everybody, “You have no doubt heard about the SCAT. There have been some terrible rumors flying around about SCAT. But reality is different. You may think that becoming clearing SCAT and joining a B-Dojo is not your only option. I say that it is. You may think that clearing the SCAT is not a very tough task, because you are a Ninjaneer and have the expertise and skill for clearing any challenge. But I say that clearing SCAT is extremely tough and without the help of the Chu Lei it is impossible!!

I myself was a Ninjaneer once. One day I was walking by the training grounds looking at a bunch of enthusiastic first years practicing ninja. When I looked at them I felt something was off. I remembered that I myself shared the same enthusiasm as them when I joined the Ninjaneering institute. But at that moment I felt empty inside. A feeling I’m sure all of you have. Upon a long and deep introspection I finally realized my purpose in life, and the steps I needed to take in order to achieve it. Take it from a man who has had an infinite number of experiences and who has attained enlightenment twenty three times!! This world is not a place for Ninjaneers. Where will martial arts take you? Sure you’ll save the odd person in danger, impair the neighborhood thief’s chances of robbing someone, or help the country during times of war, but what will it do for you? Ninjaneering for the sake of becoming a good ninja is foolish!!

There’s only one thing in which Ninjaneering will help you, or rather it already has. It has prepared you for this moment. You my pupils are the perfect trainees for Chu Lei. When we are done with you’ll be ready to appear and clear the SCAT. Not because you are in any way smarter than everybody else. After two years of feeling completely incompetent for not being able to learn the way of the Ninja, you’ll finally be able to do something that you can actually get the hang of. Something that doesn’t require you to be different or be truly skilled and intelligent! All you need to do is work hard, do what we tell you to do and you’ll be the perfect SCAT answering machine!! I mean… you’ll be ready to face the SCAT.

**************

Monday, August 25, 2008

The Newton Incarnate

Years ago, it was said that a man shall walk the earth, one who would redefine the world of science and technology, persuade Microsoft to go open source (yes, he also predicted the existence of Microsoft), would cause rapprochement between Google and Microsoft and devise a drug that would cure cancer, cure AIDS and give the patient a month long high. This man was supposed to be Isaac Newton but due to a few trifling mistakes in the Department of Messiahs and Prodigal Heroes (DEMPH) Newton was born a little early. The error was however not an irremediable one. For a couple of centuries later the Newton version 2.0 was unleashed upon the earth. However DEMPH made a small error again, because the new Newton was placed in India.

During the first few years of his life Newton 2.0 felt bewildered, he found himself to be a mote in the vast expanse of the universe. His thirst of knowledge, and want to understand the universe was even more than before (he was 2.0 after all). His genius would have been recognized early in school were it not for the unfortunate but not entirely unusual circumstance he found himself in. His teachers thought him to be a miscreant because of his tendencies to solve their problems and questions for them instead of sitting quietly and copying down the steps involved memorizing them and repeating them in the exam. But that did not dispirit 2.0, after all he was an upgrade over the last Newton. He got into high school with a feeling of hope, that his genius would be recognized, but no luck there either. His subjects, were no longer interesting to him, mostly because he’d finished them all in fifth grade. He tried to pursue something higher and more interesting only to be rebuked by his coaching class teacher, who told him to stop being a smart ass, and be a normal ass like everybody else. The classes were becoming his bane. Why was he going there in the first place? Because everybody else was going there. How else can you get into an IIT. Only once did he try to ask his parents why it was necessary for him to get into IIT. They had looked at him as if he was deranged, as if he had just said, “Come Mom, Dad lets have anthrax for dinner!” They thought that it would not be becoming of their son to become a scientist or anything else for that matter. The neighbors’ sons were engineers from IIT, and they earned a lot, so who cares if they were a couple of losers who were totally unhappy with their lives.

He topped the IIT entrance exam, it was the happiest day in everybody’s life except his. In IIT he found engineering an interesting field. However his friends didn’t share the same , they told him that he was being an idiot for taking this so seriously. He felt aggrieved at this and a little confused. They told him there was no future in engineering. “But you make things in engineering, invent stuff that others can use.” He argued. “Why bother?” came the reply. “We don’t need new stuff, there’s no future there. You’ll probably invent something awesome only to see someone else take the credit for it. Then you’ll be left poor and miserable.” “But,” 2.0 argued again, ”what’s the point in living if you thought that way. According to you there’s nothing you can do to become happy.” “There’s one thing you can do,” was the reply, “a profession where all you need to do is talk and wear suits. Meet people and trick them into believing that you’re good.” “How do I do that?” asked 2.0

“Become a Manager!! “

Up in the heavens, in the offices of DMPH to be precise, no one knew why the screw up had happened, was it because they were busy organizing Jesus’ comeback or because they were busy designing their logo, we’ll never know.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Waves 08 II – The real reason

This is probably the last thing I write. They’re watching me. They know I’m on to them, but that isn’t going to stop me. For years they’ve been trying to incite humans against each other. It has worked well, and now they’re ready for their final conquest. They’re coming here this November to finish us off. You know what I’m talking about. I’m sure you can feel them too. Those darned aliens!!

I know to most of you this may sound preposterous. But I’m not drunk, or babbling because I watched all 53 kinds of close encounters in one sitting. It all makes perfect sense when you think about it. It struck me just a few days ago. When it was announced that waves was being held in November, it felt odd. As if things were being decided by someone other than us. When a bunch of people proposed, the holding of Waves 2008 again, there was no rebuke from the faculty. The same faculty that rebukes everything else from healthy medical facilities and stripper joints to common sense. What does that have to do with aliens? You may ask. Well then I’d ask you to let me finish.

There was a meeting on waves with the faculty members. The upshot of which was that, waves would have to be organized in two months time with a budget of less than one lakh rupees. This was the point that really got me thinking about alien involvement. It is obvious that no fest could be run with less than one lakh. So how would the BITS students manage to find more money. A few minutes of thinking made it all clear. If humans don’t fund it, who do you think is left?

There was a however a part of this theory that perplexed me. To pull off something of this magnitude you have to have an inside man. Who could that be? I wondered. The answer however was simpler than I thought. One piece of information was all that I needed. Humans have always thought that aliens could disguise themselves perfectly. (Douglas Adams is not an exception, he’s not human. How else could he have given such an accurate description of the Galactic Empire). So I started thinking on the opposite track. What if they disguise poorly, or not at all? Then the answer struck me. I knew who the inside man was. For now let’s call him by his alien name, Alpha-Vega-Kappa (Alpha for short). He was part of the discussion, he also persuaded the student body to manage with a budget of less than one lakh. He was the man behind it all.

Then came the last part of the puzzle, how were they going to use waves, and why are they specifically planning to attack in November. It’s the perfect cover. Waves is the one time Bitsians will let their guard down. Bits G is right between P and H, so it is going to become their headquarters. Once they use it to their advantage, they can take over Bits P and H, and from there, the world. Don’t ask how though… But why November?

There’s only one answer that fits. The Victoria Secret Fashion Show. When the whole world will be watching and talking about the fashion show, waves will be sidelined. The aliens will then feint a sighting at the fashion show, so that when everybody’s searching for aliens there, waves will be taken over by them. Unless I stop it. I shall reveal the name of the alien spy. Wow what’s with all those bright lights in the sky? Anyway the earth name of Alpha-Vega-Kappa is…

Harry-whatra-entra was here

Erase

How to erase?

Crap

The above work is completely fictitious…

We aliens do not exist…

Even if we do… We’ll be at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show