"Next question Mr Popeye,
7) Who is the one person you adore the most?"
Olive Oyl's face perked up, but Popeye's went lower, he mumbled reluctantly,
"Jack Sparrow"
Sensing a storm, Truthman threw the next question before Olive Oyl could react...
8) "Do you really believe that Sweet Pea is your illegitimate child?"
This time however there was no embarassment in Popeye's face... "No (toot toot)" he said clearly and loudly. Truthman seemed confused, he consulted his notes, and then realisation dawned on his face. "Aah, sorry about that, I mixed up the questions, this was meant for Bluto who'll be facing me next week.
"What?" blurted Bluto, "I'm going to have to answer that?"
"Oh, no don't worry," said Truthman, "You mostly won't have to, you probably won't even get past the, "Do you have a secret crush on Popeye?" question."
"Now, Popeye" said Truthman facing him, "here comes the second last question,"
9) "Do you think that, Pappy is in fact not your real father?"
"Popeye," said a hurt and broken Pappy, "This ain't true is it? You really don't believe that?"
"Tis' true Pappy," said Popeye, "How else can you explain the fact that you got a long beard and I ain't got none. It don't add up."
"But Popeye!!" pleaded Pappy, "I told you a million times, yer Mum ain't got no beard either!! That's why you ain't got none!!"
Before Popeye could reply to that the Truthman cut in, "We're running out of time Popeye, so I'm gonna shoot the last question for 10 million bucks!!! (The lights went off)
"It's ok folks," said Truthman, "Their just extra extra dim, we keep forgetting to brighten them after the question is asked. Anyway now for the tenth question,"
10) Popeye is it true that, eating spinach does not actually make you stronger, and that you use a muscular body double to do the after spinach scenes?"
If Popeye looked broken earlier, he looked a lot worse now, "Please!!" he pleaded, "anything else!!"
"This is the question Popeye, you can answer it if you want the money."
"But there be kids watchin'!!!"
"All the more reason to tell the truth," said Truthman calmly
"Yes," he said finally, "But it wasn't my fault!!"
"Then who's was it?"
He looked right and left and said in a low whisper.
"It was them Spinach Companies!!"
And thus the show ended
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Truth Ka Facing : Featuring Popeye The Sailor I
It was another episode of Truth Ka Facing. The Truthman was seated as usual and opposite him sat the sailor of international repute, Popeye. His family and friends were seated in the audience. Ten questions he would have to face, ten answers he would have to divulge, to win ten million bucks
Truthman spoke, "Well Popeye, lets start with the first question," as he said this the lights dimmed and an audible "Oooh" escaped the audience. "This seems to be an easy one" the Truthman added,
1) "What was your childhood ambition? What did you always want to become?
"It's simple," said Popeye smiling, "I always wanted to be a sailor." "Aah, but our machine here doen't agree," said the Truthman,"Tell us the truth Mr Popeye."
"All right then," said Popeye sighing , "Me childhood dream was to be a ..." he said the last part in a scarcely audible tone.
"A Rap Artist?" said Truthman loudly.
"Well, yes" agreed Popeye, "I even wrote a couple of songs." "Can you sing one for us?" asked Truthman. "All, right, here goes," saif Popeye and began singing in his gruff voice,
"Yo, yo Me name is Popeye
Me gives Bluto his black eye..."
"Thats very charming Mr Popeye, now for the next question," cut in Truthman
"But me ain't done yet!!" protested Popeye,
"Yes you are Mr Popeye, if i let you go on we risk losing half our viewers, trust me, we learnt a huge lesson when we invited eminem last time."
"Coming to the next question,",
2) Mr Popeye what is the one thing that scares you the most?
Popeye fixed a hard look on Truthman , "That be an embarassing question."
"The answer please Mr Popeye," retorted Truthman with a harder look.
"Fine, I get scared of the fact that ..." he hesitated a little, and then hurriedly finished the rest of the sentence, "that Olive's arms are longer than her feet."
"Popeye how dare you," said Olive standing up, "But me Peach," reurned Popeye utterly helpless, "Its true, you can touch your toes without bending your back!!"
Before Olive Oyl could say anything, Truthman hurriedly went to the next question, "Popeye," he said as the lights dimmed even further,
3) "What is your favorite food?"
"Aah everyone knows its spinach," Popeye said smiling proudly, "But, "interjected Truthman, "our machine knows its not, come on Popeye out with the truth."
"Well, all right, if you have to know my favorite food is Chicken Tikka, but kids," he said looking sternly at the camera, " even if you don't like it you have to eat it to remain strong."
"Thank you for delivering that message Popeye, now the next question for you is,
4) Do you think Wimpy has been a good friend to you?"
At this Wimpy for the first time looked at Popeye, in fact since the start of the show it was the first time that he looked at anything apart from the hamburgere he'd been eating. Popeye shifted his eyes away and answered,
"Me thinks he has not been a very good friend at all now that you've mentioned it, he's borrowed about a million bucks from me and never paid me back! Everytime i ask him, he says he'll pay me on tuesday, but if i ask him on tuesdays he tells me next tuesday and borrows some more." At this Wimpy got up, "I've never been so insulted in all my life," he said indignantly, after which he sat down and all of his concentration was once again taken up by the hamburger.
"Well Popeye are you ready for question no 5?" Popeye shrugged,
5) Who's legs do you like more than Olive Oyl's?"
"Popeyeee" came a warning shout from Olive, Popeye looked the other way and in a barely audible whisper said , "Malaika Arora"
"But how!!" shrieked Olive, "My legs are so much longer!!, Popeye you're dead when you come home tonight!!"
Popeye his head still down muttered a small, "I'm sorry," while Truthman deciding he'd had enough drama, went on to the next question,
6) "Popeye, how many times have you been out in the sea?"
"Ha!" said Pappy, "he's a sailor of course he must have gone out to sea million times."
"Popeye," prompted Truthman,
"All, right," he looked broken, "I've never actually been out to sea. I only work at the docks."
"Impossible," said Pappy. "It ain't me fault ok," said Popeye bristling a little, "its just that i can't swim and i get sea sick very easily, I've just been watching out for me health."
"Then what about all those episodes where you were at sea?" asked Truthman
"CG" replied Popeye shrugging...
Truthman spoke, "Well Popeye, lets start with the first question," as he said this the lights dimmed and an audible "Oooh" escaped the audience. "This seems to be an easy one" the Truthman added,
1) "What was your childhood ambition? What did you always want to become?
"It's simple," said Popeye smiling, "I always wanted to be a sailor." "Aah, but our machine here doen't agree," said the Truthman,"Tell us the truth Mr Popeye."
"All right then," said Popeye sighing , "Me childhood dream was to be a ..." he said the last part in a scarcely audible tone.
"A Rap Artist?" said Truthman loudly.
"Well, yes" agreed Popeye, "I even wrote a couple of songs." "Can you sing one for us?" asked Truthman. "All, right, here goes," saif Popeye and began singing in his gruff voice,
"Yo, yo Me name is Popeye
Me gives Bluto his black eye..."
"Thats very charming Mr Popeye, now for the next question," cut in Truthman
"But me ain't done yet!!" protested Popeye,
"Yes you are Mr Popeye, if i let you go on we risk losing half our viewers, trust me, we learnt a huge lesson when we invited eminem last time."
"Coming to the next question,"
2) Mr Popeye what is the one thing that scares you the most?
Popeye fixed a hard look on Truthman , "That be an embarassing question."
"The answer please Mr Popeye," retorted Truthman with a harder look.
"Fine, I get scared of the fact that ..." he hesitated a little, and then hurriedly finished the rest of the sentence, "that Olive's arms are longer than her feet."
"Popeye how dare you," said Olive standing up, "But me Peach," reurned Popeye utterly helpless, "Its true, you can touch your toes without bending your back!!"
Before Olive Oyl could say anything, Truthman hurriedly went to the next question, "Popeye," he said as the lights dimmed even further,
3) "What is your favorite food?"
"Aah everyone knows its spinach," Popeye said smiling proudly, "But, "interjected Truthman, "our machine knows its not, come on Popeye out with the truth."
"Well, all right, if you have to know my favorite food is Chicken Tikka, but kids," he said looking sternly at the camera, " even if you don't like it you have to eat it to remain strong."
"Thank you for delivering that message Popeye, now the next question for you is,
4) Do you think Wimpy has been a good friend to you?"
At this Wimpy for the first time looked at Popeye, in fact since the start of the show it was the first time that he looked at anything apart from the hamburgere he'd been eating. Popeye shifted his eyes away and answered,
"Me thinks he has not been a very good friend at all now that you've mentioned it, he's borrowed about a million bucks from me and never paid me back! Everytime i ask him, he says he'll pay me on tuesday, but if i ask him on tuesdays he tells me next tuesday and borrows some more." At this Wimpy got up, "I've never been so insulted in all my life," he said indignantly, after which he sat down and all of his concentration was once again taken up by the hamburger.
"Well Popeye are you ready for question no 5?" Popeye shrugged,
5) Who's legs do you like more than Olive Oyl's?"
"Popeyeee" came a warning shout from Olive, Popeye looked the other way and in a barely audible whisper said , "Malaika Arora"
"But how!!" shrieked Olive, "My legs are so much longer!!, Popeye you're dead when you come home tonight!!"
Popeye his head still down muttered a small, "I'm sorry," while Truthman deciding he'd had enough drama, went on to the next question,
6) "Popeye, how many times have you been out in the sea?"
"Ha!" said Pappy, "he's a sailor of course he must have gone out to sea million times."
"Popeye," prompted Truthman,
"All, right," he looked broken, "I've never actually been out to sea. I only work at the docks."
"Impossible," said Pappy. "It ain't me fault ok," said Popeye bristling a little, "its just that i can't swim and i get sea sick very easily, I've just been watching out for me health."
"Then what about all those episodes where you were at sea?" asked Truthman
"CG" replied Popeye shrugging...
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