You know you’re living in a crappy place when…

1) On the first day of the monsoon, instead of dancing in the rain, you’re busy throwing you’re belongings onto the loft, because your house is turning into a giant (dirty) aquarium
2) You stop caring about the poor farmers and start praying that the monsoon never begins
3) You stuff your ears with cotton every night so that none of the countless centipedes, millipedes and all other kind of pedes get in
4) You catch yourself googling, “Can a millipede in your ear kill you?”
5) You get up in the morning and offer a prayer of thanks to God that you’re still alive after you realize that one of the cotton balls actually fell of your ear in the middle of the night
6) You sadly reminisce about the days when you laughed at people who lived off their suitcases, because now you’re doing the exact same thing, with one exception… The suitcase is on the loft, and you’re not tall enough to reach it
7) You say TGIM instead of TGIF and work late just to avoid going back
8) The landlady assures you that smoking and drinking would mean certain eviction, while her son, just to tick you off, enjoys a smoke right in front of your door every night
9) During a storm water starts seeping through the front door and the drainage outlet at the back, and you are stuck in between with all your possessions
10) One fine day, when everythings bright and sunny, you still find water seeping through the drain at the back
11) You think you’ve seen everything until you realize that the small noise you heard the previous night and the small black thing that ran past you is in fact a rat
12) A couple of minutes after seeing the rat you see that he’s brought his family along
13) You wake up at three in the morning just because you heard it rain and its your turn to check the drain
14) You wake up at three again, but this time its because there’s no power
15) You actually think of staying overnight in the company because there was a storm in Delhi
16) You always happen to be in the bathroom when the power goes out
17) The water seeps in again and as you try to gather the mattress and throw it onto the loft the power goes out
18) Your landlady’s grandson buys a bike with the most horrible horn that gives you a splitting 24 hr headache, and of course, it plays five different tunes
19) Your nicest friend who wouldn’t badmouth the Bug Blatter Beast of Traal, after meeting with the landlady smacks his forehead saying, “Kya paka rahi hai yaar!!”
20) The landlady tells you that the only way to dispose off your garbage is to go at midnight and throw it under the sign that says ‘NO LITTERING’
21) She also makes it abundantly clear that, if you are caught, she’s not to blame
22) You find the whole cake of Mortein Rat killer that you placed last night is missing, but you can still see the rats
23) You start getting the dead rat smell everywhere, while your roommates call you paranoid
24) No matter what the situation your dreams always have rats in them
25) You try to position yourself at night in such a way that even if a rat does come to get you it would have to bite your roommate first
26) Inspite of your well thought out positioning you get bitten by a rat, whereas your roommate is fine
To Be Continued